الصمحقحيه فلسطينلله

On this page I will document day by day as I progress through stage after stage the lessons I gleam from my life journey so that the world may know what Enlightenment does to a soul in real time, so that you may see my development and progression and understand in clear cut truth and Supreme Justice what the nature of Enlightenment is and is not, and for the sake of posterity so that I may give myself a Life Review prior to death

5th April 2016
The emotions and vibrations you feel in your Heart are all that truly matter. The entirety of your presence in the outside world – all your actions, the way you do things, where you go, what you do, who you talk to, all of these things arise purely from the nature of the Heart space. If the vibration in the Heart space is of a high quality then the results in the world will also be thereof. So it is important when we live that we espouse the highest vibration within our Heart and everything else will come naturally, entire spheres and doors of reality will open which we had not seen before.

20th March 2016 – The Emotional Ego
Short version: There is not only the ego and the self, but there is an ’emotional ego’ – a living being of its own, composed of the set of emotions and feelings of a person, which can be hurt or loved which lives irrespective of the Samadhi of an individual, and cannot be destroyed, only integrated into Wholeness and White Light Dissolution.

This ego behaves just the same as the ego that can be annihilated but it is of a special nature in that as mammals with an emotional layer to our brainminds, it is a fundamental part of who we are. One must be perpetually sensitive to this emotional ego and nurture it in others as one nurtures it in oneself or there is propensity for grievous damage to relationships. When correctly nurtured it is the glue of Unity, Respect, Love, Compassion and Trust.

So we wonder how we can unite this hurt and scared humanity with all our differences and ego? We nurture and heal each other’s emotional ego, and that alone will be the glue that reaches through, through the darkness, through the black clouds, the ocean waves, an unbreakable rope to pull those boats to shore, that alone.

Long Version:
I had previously thought of the ego in a twofold fashion – I had thought there was the ego and the Self, and that the Self would shine when the ego was uncovered. I had known that there were various layers or types to the ego, such as a human ego in the sense of individual identity of which is the ego that cannot be destroyed as it is the human self (nafs in arabic terms), another ego in the sense of a prideful negative entity which is the ego we wish to annihilate consisting of samskaras & vasanas in the vedic sense – samskaras are karmic imprints, vasanas are mental habits & conditionings and various other egos, identities and layers.

So I had been curious to find that even when interacting with enlightened beings who were clearly egoless in many ways and had utterly seen through the deceptions and illusions and were residing in the Supreme Self, that they still exhibited in response to my own wounds and lashing out, they would exhibit hurtness and sorrow and grief and lashed out in a way so as to generate non-constructive results, non-unity generating results in a method to preserve their own high vibrations – I knew I was the one generating the bad vibe but I had expected them to act as the bigger being and put me in my place with Love, they did not manage to do that. I would see people asking the enlightened masters questions about other masters and I would see these masters being very negative about them, judging them as less than themselves or so on and so forth, saying this or that master was useless or bad or insulting them and these masters would turn around and in the same breath emanate the Highest Virtue of the Sublime attributes of The God, The Pure.

These things of sorrow and hurt and lashing out I had transcended at one stage of my journey – prior to Kundalini awakening funnily enough and I had been impervious to all people’s wounds such that irrespective of their severity, they would not touch me at that stage, I could handle the worst of insults and still talk to that being and treat them as the being who needed Love that they were rather than retreating into my own hurtness and trauma and recuperating. Then these things had returned further down the line as those samskaras and vasanas returned due to my ignorance regarding the nature of the spiritual unfoldment – so I had experience both of the White Light and of that which is not (yet) the White Light to compare and contrast.

So I was perplexed to think, how could enlightened beings behave this way? These people were the most advanced beings I had the Joy and Gratitude of encountering on my journey back to our Eternal Home. Even my own Higher Self was displaying this behaviour. The only Being which did not display this behaviour was God itself, when God itself spoke to me it would always exhibit Perfection and would never exhibit any hurtness or sorrow, for that is indeed the Pure nature of God. It may or may not threaten to place me in Hell, but that is for logical and rational reason that I had stepped the bounds of Justice and earnt it. If I talked to any entities – the angels, the spirit guides, the other spirits, they each would display this response – they would shut down from a direct insult to their Soul and express a back and forth rebounding hurtness, which would strike me, strike them, back and forth until someone broke the cycle. Not one of these beings could handle the evilness of evil when it was thrust in their face, all would be scarred by it and nor would I be an exception. Only God would not, God alone being The Mighty, The Strong.

I did some meditation to it and then the answer was revealed by feeling through the Nature of things. All of us individual spirit souls, we each are privy to this hurtness until we fully transcend it and dissolve into Supreme Identity altogether so there is no Atman any longer – the seeker has surrendered. We all as Atman, as individual spirit souls, possess something known as an emotional ego. This is an emotional sense of self, an I-AMness, subject to spiritual pain and pleasure. Even though the mind is singular, I like to look at it in layers of processing, higher and higher levels of abstraction- there exist the layers of reptiloid brainstem impulsive pain pleasure response, mammalian emotional feeling, human neocortical higher thought and the Supermind which is the Brahmarandhra which is the Cosmic Spirit intelligence, one layer above the other. Then there is the Heart consciousness, which mediates and modulates and rules over everything, with its own intricacies.

So the human emotional ego, it is the set of all of our emotions & feelings, in a physical human form it is perhaps mediated by the mammalian layer of the brain in conjunction with the heart interface. It is a sum total, a set of individual curved volumes of energy, each region has its own colour and tone and light, and put together, produces the feeling response of a human being, the heart essence, the “how we treat others” and the “how we treat ourselves”. It may be strong enough to overcome that dissolvable ego but it is always moved by the spiritual hurts when someone else expresses them: spiritual pride, spiritual despair, spiritual sorrow, spiritual arrogance, spiritual shame, so on and so forth – the higher level components of spiritual ego, which all atmans/individuals experience in their development.

So I had seen that all of those spiritual masters, who were enlightened, still had bloated spiritual egos which they had not faced, they had thought themselves to be enlightened and that was that, they were God and could do no wrong. A child would not call another enlightened master “useless” or call them a “turd” yet these people were. What had gone wrong? How could a child know to treat with dignity a human being and honour the excruciating pain of their journey and works, and an enlightened master would fall short?

I was planning for this because I had foreseen my destiny prior to the journey and knew that this enemy lay in wait. Even in spite of my planning and attempting every mechanism and tactic I could think of, it reached me and struck me and I fell, repeatedly. Therefore I learnt that one perhaps cannot prepare for the spiritual ego as it is one’s own pure spiritual Self as Atman, so one must face this as it arrives in one’s life journey and be ready to swallow spiritual pride there and then and Surrender immediately, dive straight into God without a second thought.

The Reading/Al-Quran [51:50] does say “therefore flee to The Light, I am a clear warner to you from That”, and by this example that verse/code is known and understood.

That is to then finally say, we will carry this spiritual ego and respond to hurt and pain of the spiritual kind and be moved by it until our consciousness is entirely dissolved into the Supreme Identity, never to return, ever, for once the innermost Self has been fully lit by the White Light, there is no further room for shadow or darkness, and the seeker has arrived Home at last.

God is Love